Productivity

 

Economists are baffled as to why UK productivity is so low.  Er?  Why? There are some simple explanatins.

There's the holidays - most egregiously Christmas. "Not a chance of getting that order through if it's not before the begining of November, mate," bracketed by "Nobody's back yet, try February'. Followed by Easter. And Cheltenham. May and June are productive then it's the holidays. Which leaves September and October. 

Then there's traffic. "Took be two years to get round the M25 - then I hit roadworks'" and then they are about to ban all mobile phoning from the car - if you can get a signal. And there's Southern Rail and flu, "don't come in with that cold, love." And this is before the wrong sort of snowflake and a leaf on the line. In the meantime the Chinese worker has been given two hours off to sleep and the American has turned down his two weeks holiday because he's worried someone will notice he isn't there.

It's a miracle we get anything done at all.